Sunday, December 24, 2017

2017's 10 Worst Films!

As always, this list is limited to what I've seen this year. 

10.  Better Watch Out - An Xmas set home invasion thriller with a twist, this lump of coal was only good for a smart turn by lead actress Olivia DeJonge.

9.  Justice League - Once again, the lead actress saves a shitty film, as Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman is the only reason to watch this huge, steaming pile of dog squeeze.

8.  The Emoji Movie - An even bigger steaming pile of Patrick Stewart('s character) than could have ever been imagined.

7.  The Dark Tower - No shock here, too much source material to script it like they did. 

6.  Baywatch - Utterly talentless and clueless cast fails to improve on Z rate TV show.

5.  The Snowman - Looked great, but a lead character named Harry Hole (ok, ho-lay) should have been my first tipoff.

4.  47 Meters Down - Should have been buried deeper.

3.  T2: Trainspotting - Taking NO cues from the classic original, this was less necessary than Fuller House.

2.  The Book of Henry - A film that dreams of being as clever as everyone making it thought it was.

1.  Alien Covenant - Apparently the once great Ridley Scott thinks that incestuous robots are a great lead in to the legendary original film.  Spoiler alert Rid, they're not.






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